Hello. It is Skye. Yes, that Skye. The Sheltie. The one whose name is on the biscuits. And I am here to report a situation that should not be possible, yet somehow is.
Order at skyebiscuit.com
It is only Tuesday.
And we are out of Skye Biscuits.
Do you understand the seriousness of this? Tuesday is not a biscuit ending day. Tuesday is a “still plenty of biscuits left” day. Tuesday is when I casually wander past the treat jar, glance inside, and remind everyone that I am aware of inventory levels. Tuesday is not when the jar echoes.
Yet here we are.
Let me be clear. This is not because I have been sneaking extra biscuits. That accusation was raised. I reject it. I receive my allotted biscuit portions with dignity. If I occasionally look at someone in a way that results in a second biscuit, that is not theft. That is communication.
The real problem is demand.
Skye Biscuits are apparently wildly popular. Shocking, I know. Who could have predicted that small, handmade, heart shaped treats made with real ingredients and zero nonsense would disappear faster than socks during laundry day? Certainly not the humans, who keep saying things like, “Wow, we went through those fast.”
Yes. Because they are good.
These are not those mystery treats that smell like a factory and leave a film on your tongue. These are biscuits with standards. Biscuits with integrity. Biscuits that dogs recognize immediately as something worth sitting for.
And now they are gone.
Which means I have been forced to endure the unthinkable. Humans walking into the kitchen. Opening the cabinet. Staring into the void. Closing it again. Looking at me with sympathy. Saying things like, “Soon.”
Soon is not a time. Soon is a concept. Soon does not crunch.
I want to address a rumor going around that Skye Biscuit production stopped because of “scheduling.” This is false. Production stopped because biscuits cannot bake themselves and humans insist on doing other things like eating dinner and sleeping. This is clearly a prioritization issue.
I have tried to help.
I sit in the kitchen during prep time. I supervise. I offer encouragement through staring. I even bark once or twice when necessary. Still, the biscuits do not magically appear. This is disappointing.
Meanwhile, my associate Lenny, the Bolonka, claims this shortage is “no big deal.” Easy for him to say. He eats anything. He once tried to steal a lemon. He has no standards. I do.
Skye Biscuits are not optional. They are part of the household economy. They represent structure. They represent fairness. They represent the understanding that if I am a very good dog, something very good happens afterward.
Right now, the system is broken.
However, I will acknowledge one thing. Running out by Tuesday does mean something important. It means people are choosing these biscuits on purpose. It means they are not sitting in a drawer forgotten. It means dogs are wagging. It means bags are empty because tails were full.
That is good news.
It just would have been better news if it happened on Thursday.
So here is my official message to the humans. Bake faster. Restock deeper. Do not underestimate demand. And for the love of all things crunchy, never let the jar echo again.
To my fellow dogs reading this, stay strong. Shortages are temporary. Biscuits return. Justice is baked.
And to anyone wondering if Skye is grumpy today, yes. But only because excellence should never be unavailable on a Tuesday.
Signed,
Skye
Founder
Chief Quality Control Officer
Very Patient Dog
UPDATE FROM MANAGEMENT
Just when morale was at its lowest, an announcement was made.
Cheese.
The next batch of Skye Biscuits will include cheese.
This changes everything.
Cheese is not a garnish. Cheese is a commitment. Cheese is what separates “treat” from experience. Cheese is why dogs forgive shortages, delays, and humans who say words like “preheat.”
I immediately repositioned myself closer to the kitchen upon hearing this news. I am choosing optimism. Cautious optimism. Cheese requires vigilance.
So yes, we ran out by Tuesday. Yes, the jar echoed. Yes, this was a failure of logistics. But the future now smells better.
Stay tuned.
Stay alert.
And maybe sit closer to the oven.
— Skye 🐾