by Skye
I would like to clarify something for the record.
I am very food motivated.
But I am not desperate.
There is a difference.
For a treat, I will happily do the following:
I will sit.
I will sit again, even if I just sat.
I will sit faster the second time to show enthusiasm.
I will lie down.
I will lie down dramatically, as if I have worked very hard all day.
I will shake paws.
Left paw. Right paw. Surprise paw.
Dealer’s choice.
I will spin in a circle.
One circle. Two circles.
I may lose track and keep going. That’s on you.
I will come when called.
Immediately.
With eye contact.
With joy.
I will look extremely cute.
This requires no effort on my part, but I include it anyway.
Now.
Here are the things I will not do for a treat.
I will not pretend I don’t see the squirrel.
That costs more than one treat. Possibly a lifetime supply.
I will not stop barking at the mail carrier until the threat has fully passed and the truck is gone. I have standards.
I will not go outside in the rain just because you said “quick potty.”
Nothing about that situation is quick.
I will not share my treat.
I will consider letting you watch me eat it.
I will not perform tricks I have never learned and then get blamed when I fail. That is entrapment.
I will not work for a treat that smells like nothing.
Do not insult us both.
I have also noticed humans sometimes raise the bar.
First it’s “sit.”
Then it’s “sit and stay.”
Then it’s “sit, stay, look at me, don’t blink, solve a math problem.”
No.
Treat economics are very important. If you want consistent results, you must pay fairly. Dogs understand value. We understand timing. We understand when a deal is no longer a deal.
That said, I am reasonable.
I will still try.
I will still hope.
I will still watch your hands very closely.
Because sometimes, even when the treat is small, the moment is right.
And also, I really like treats.
— Skye 🐾🍪